NOT MY WILL by Veralyn Chinenye

I imagined his heart galloping like a horse's Hooves as he made it to the abattoir
And as he accepts the 'inescapability' of his fate
Surviving the banality of the world around him
I collapse into his arms, soaking he's bosom with snot and tears and saliva
I hear him say, "let this one pass me over, lightly like a smooth rock rolling down the hill
Down my back, my skin, like a soothing water"
Not my will...
The only time he distinguished night from day
Was the movement of his bowels -in hunger or in purgation
I felt like draping him over to myself
Like a cloak to be warmed by the warmth of my sin
Not my will
If only, he had a way of choosing the manner of His own death, if only...
He could make it spectacular and momentous
For there are so many faces jostling to get a glimpse of his thorn.
So many bodies pressed together, men and women and children, one of them, he thought, "might be an angel"
Not my will...
There is so much we can not fathom
For we are characters on our journey to the book of life
And our horizon is so narrow and so dark
Oh..may our face meeting mercy bring good fortune.
Amazing grace rippled on our lips
Not my will
Not my will...